


Reflection

by AllBiDean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ABO, Alpha!Dean, Cas gets pissy a lot, Cas makes some friends after he starts a fight, Castiel gets parental, Drunk Dean, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Roles, Kinda, M/M, Omega!Castiel, War, alpha!Castiel, mulan - Freeform, this is based on mulan sue me its a good movie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2018-12-03 08:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11528538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllBiDean/pseuds/AllBiDean
Summary: James Novak hates the role he's expected to fill. Maybe life would have been better if he;d been born a Beta or alpha. But his gender, his name has never connected to him.When he's rejected from his chance to find a suitable mate and a war starts he choses the best option for himself and the family he wants to protect. Team up with his family guardian and join the army pretending to be an Alpha... Shouldn't be too hard except then he meets Dean, who seems to hate him instantly and wants him gone.





	1. Matchmaker

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this in works for the past year and I'm half down and darn it I just want to publish it now!

James Novak was a bad Omega.  

Of course this is not to be confused with being a bad person or anything, he just wasn’t what his village, or even his wants an Omega to be. Omegas were small, soft and dainty. They were pampered by their Alpha and continued the family by bearing children and raising them properly.

However James was none of what he was meant to be. He was an only child, which would have been fine if they were well off enough that he didn’t need to help on the farm. Because of all the work he did and his unflattering height, he was toned, tanned and his hands and feet were rough and mostly dirty.

Aside from his unseemly body, he never felt the natural urge to step back and allow Alpha’s to take charge and would often get his foot stamped on by his mother, Naomi, for (accidently) back chatting or staring too long at Alphas in the village or from neighbouring ones.

He was a clumsy bumbling fool in comparison to the beautiful and elegant house Omegas that were his age.

James didn’t find much interest in the topic of Mating and his future Alpha when other Omegas came to visit him, or on the rare occasion he was invited to lunch in town

His father was not young and they needed him where he was no matter what his mother believed.

However it was cut, James wasn’t good at being an Omega, and even worse, he never felt like he should be one. He felt disconnected from his secondary gender. He hated it, he wanted to be what his parents and everyone expected him to be, but that wasn’t him at all.

James sat on his bed writing notes of proper etiquette on his arm, nearly as nervous as he was the day his mother informed him about his ‘appointment’ with the ‘matchmaker’. James was an unmated Omega at 19 and this fact severely distressed his mother to no end.

She had left it up to James to find his own mate. Apparently though, going onto 20 unmated just could not happen, so he was being sent to Ms Abaddon an Alpha whose Mate had died 5 years ago.

She was terrifying and dedicated to putting Omega’s in their ‘proper place’. Of course he knew this was his proper duty, hopefully, if he Mated off well, he would pay for help for his family’s farm

Charles, James’ father walked past his room before walking back to stare at James with a resigned expression.  “James” he called and the 19 year-old looked up blankly at him.

His father sighed and gestured to the clock “Jimmy, you are meant to be at your meeting already” he said with unhidden distress. James looked up to the clock and his eyes widened in horror.

His mother was definitely going to kill him for this.

He finished his notes and pulled down his sleeve, chuck looked at the sleeve and James shrugged  and continued to move past his father with a “Bye” and fled out the door.

 

When james arrived in town he rode to where his mother was waiting for him. He got of the horse with a pant of “I’m here”. He leaned over breathing heavily as Naomi looked over her son with 19 years worth of disappointment.

“James Novak how do you expect to be taken seriously when you can’t even find a Mate, or turn up on time for your interview to get arranged.” James looked down at his shoes not answering she gritted her teeth, pulling some twigs from his dark hair, fixing it so it was flat.

She and her sister, who unlike the Beta Naomi, was a Omega were the ones escorting him today. Anna looked over to James and smiled encouragingly. He managed a half smile before looking back down and following his mother as she rattled on.

“I’m sure Abaddon will be able to help you, you may be a tramp but even she can help you be worth something, maybe even get you a higher class Mate, now wouldn’t that be nice?” She fantasized.

“Yes, mother” James replied even though she wasn’t listening.

She continued to go one about how an Omega’s worth only came from their Mate and how well they were able to breed and even his Aunt Anna glared at her back.Anna, he found was one of those progressive Omegas. She even went into town without permission half the time. James had looked up to her for a long time, even if he did wish he could adhere to society.

When they got to Abbadon’s home there was a small gathering of Omega’s some were younger than him but he recognised a few people, his friend Hannah who was twitching nervously and another, Samandriel, James had had a crush on him before they had both presented.

They stood waiting until a small Omega came from the door smiling proudly as Abaddon commented that she knew her perfect Alpha and that she would arrange that Mateship. James frowned, and looked down as did all the others around him in respect to the elder Alpha.

“James Novak?” James looked up and called out his presence and the red headed woman glared down at him, “speaking out of turn, a terrible start already.” James paled, he could feel his mother’s disapproval radiating behind him “get in here Novak.”

 

James looked behind him and followed the Alpha inside.

 

Once the door was closed she instantly started poking at him. “You’re a little wide for an Omega” she sniped and felt his arms frowning at him as she did. James felt _very_ violated right now but he kept silent with his head down. He must not mess this up.

“You are far too muscular, why would an Alpha was a thick Omega” She rubbed her temple.” Only really delicate Omega’s are able to properly produce Alpha pups” Abbadon told him and James struggled to keep his eyes down, _respect her_ he chastised himself, _think of father, do you want him hurt for the sake of pride?_ “Novak, tell me what is the proper way to address Alpha’s other than your Mate?”

James swallowed and tried from memory “well, um, you don’t speak unless you’ve been presented by your Alpha and” he pulled his sleeve slightly and continued from his notes “do not engage in physical contact unless it is a relative” Abaddon grabbed his arm and looked down at the notes.

She looked up sneering “you should have this down to instinct, Omega” he shook slightly looking up at her. He bent his head stepping away. Abaddon continued thankfully, and brought him over to where a pot of tea sat on a small warmer “Now serve the tea, a _proper Omega_ would have no trouble and this would be a duty you will have when your Alpha has guests.”

James nodded and poured the tea, still shaking from the fear of the Alpha. When he looked up there was ink on Abaddon’s face, and a cricket had dropped from nowhere into the tea. Abaddon took the cup and moved to drink it.

James made a strangled sound “Um, sorry Ma’am but you don’t-” She glared over at him and he cut himself off.

“Novak, you are an Omega, stay silent and respectful, no speaking unless spoken to” she snapped. He nodded placatingly but quickly grabbed the cup and her wrist, protesting. Then James Novak, the worst Omega, splashed _hot_ tea in the Alpha’s face. Steam rose from her reddening face and Abbadon roared at James. James felt his body instinctively lower itself and he bared his neck. Tears welled up in his eyes.

Abaddon launched herself up from the table and pulled him out by the ear, her makeup and the ink running down her face “you are a pathetic excuse for an Omega” she screeched and opened the door “Novak, you are never going to find a Mate” she snarled his his face “Not even the lowest of Alpha’s would be able to put up with a _defected_ Omega.” With her wise parting words she pushed him down the stairs announcing all other meetings would be postponed.

 

James laid on the ground, amongst his downtrodden pride and dignity.he felt wetness streaming down his face and his eyes stung.

Anna came over to help him up but he really didn’t have the strength to want to get up,the weight of a ton of bricks weighed him down. James had not been interested in having a Mate, only out of the necessity of looking after his family.

However there was a difference between being interested and being told that no one would ever want him. That he was defective. It was crushing, that along with the scent of his mother’s disapproval and disappointment wafting over him.

Anna had walked with them back to the farm, talking softly to James about one days and maybes. His mother hadn’t even spoken to him, not even looked in his direction, her rejection was crushing but not as bad as what he knew would come.


	2. Not a Lizard

When they had met Chuck at the gates, James wanted to throw up. Chuck, who often only looked sad and tired; was lit up with encouragement and hope.

He couldn’t tell him that he would never be able to further the Novak line. That his name would finish with James. His only child, that should have been a prize for his family was broken. He looked away and took his horse to the stables while his mother stormed up the steps. Why couldn’t he have presented as Alpha, then he wouldn't have to live with his mother’s disappointment and his father’s eternal attempts to make James feel better about himself?

 

His father found him a while later curled up under the large oak. James had sat stewing in his bitterness and self-loathing until Chuck had sat down and placed a hand on his shoulder, the Omega had flinched away and wiped his face from any tears that remained.

They sat for a moment in silence before Chuck spoke “When I presented as an Alpha, my parents were confused. I was a late bloomer, only presented at 18. They thought I was going to be Omega and treated me as such” James looked over at his father, not sure where he was going “I’ve never really met the standards of an Alpha, your mother was kind of disappointed in me too when we were matched” he sighed and laid back a bit “Of course then I got sick and now I’m worse, a weak Alpha who can barely even do farm work”

James looked over and peered at his father “I don’t understand, even if you aren’t as Alpha as you should be. You wouldn’t have had to worry, you had five brothers. I’m an only child and I turned out to be this” he moved his hands gesturing at himself “no Alpha would want me.”

Chuck patted his son’s head “Maybe, maybe not. If you meet your True Mate then it won’t matter.” James snorted and shook his head  “Besides unmated or not, you’ll still have the farm and the family name, I’m not disappointed in you James. I never could be.” James sighed and looked up to his father, there was no indication of lying, only sincerity. Somehow that made him feel worse. How could he be happy with James?

The moment was ruined by the sound of storming hooves and drums. Chuck and James looked over as sounds of horses running and sounds of trumpets interrupted their conversation.

Chuck got up and walked away to the front, giving instruction for James to stay as he looked “Palace guards, here?” he looked to James and sighed “I’m sorry please stay here” he told his son and walked to the front.

James did no such thing and ran to climb onto the wall of their property. The families of the surrounding properties coming out to see the Palace guards, the one leading the entourage was an Alpha, well all of them were but this guy projected the typical ‘better than thou’ snobbiness of upper-end Alphas.

 

He looked around nodding to everyone before announcing “the kingdom has been breached by the armies of Perdition.” A worried hush fell upon the crowd and James swallowed as he looked down at the crowd “We are invoking conscription and the king has decreed that one Alpha from every name-line must enrol” at that he started calling out the family names, when he got to Novak, James’ father walked forward, Naomi looking her Mate in worry as his steps stumbled as he took the notice.

James scrambled from the wall. No, his father was not going to be fighting in a war! He sped out of the gates and up to his father and pulled on his arm. He moved his father behind him as he stared pleadingly up at the man. “Alpha please, he can’t go he’s not well enough, there is another option than-” James found himself being pushed of Chuck and into his mother's arms. He looked over and figured out it was his father who had pushed him away.

 

His father who was looking at him with an affronted look that James never wanted to see from him.

“You should be teaching your child his place” sneered the foreman who looked at James with disgust “an Omega should not address an Alpha, especially one of my standing, without permission”

Chuck took the enrollment paper from him and refused to look at James, only addressing his son to go inside _where he belonged._

James a large hollow feeling took over his body and he barely moved before his mother was leading him back to the house, James’ head bowed as he walked to his room. How did his father go from saying that he accepted James’ differences to being ashamed of it? He looked over at his window, staring at the small statue outside.

It was meant to be a protector of the family, to guide them. He didn’t feel protected. The day had picked at his insides and laid them out raw. He wasn’t supposed to be an Omega. He knew that he could never live up to the expectations for him, he never felt like an Omega, and the natural responses of his body, Heat, submitting to Abaddon today. All of it felt wrong, it wasn’t him. Even his name, James, A traditional name for an omega of his class, it wasn’t his. When his father called him Jimmy the unease dispelled slightly but it was always there. The alien feeling in his own life.

  


James stayed in his room, brooding until he was called for dinner. Not bothering to change from his messy clothes he dragged himself to the dining room and sat between his parents. There was no conversation is chilled silence as they ate their food.

James,finally snapping from being on edge,looked up at his father “Please, you can’t go Father, you’ll be killed” He pleaded and Naomi tutted muttering about fool hearted men. Chuck had his jaw set and he looked at James with a pained looked

“James, it is my duty to the kingdom. I was a good soldier when I was younger and I can handle it now” he said and Naomi looked like she was considering the gains from throwing her food at both of them

“You’re not strong enough” James argued, not raising his voice “you can barely handle the farm work, what makes you think you can fight in a war” James felt like he was pleading, but he shouldn’t have to who would make an old man fight?

“It doesn’t matter.” Chuck hissed before looking bitterly at his son “Thank you though, James, for pointing out that I’m so weak I have to rely on my _Omega_ son to do my work. So much in fact he’s not able to do anything that he should” he spat back and James shrunk into the chair. His father didn't speak to him like that. Charles was meant to understand him. Naomi pursed her lips, she was about to speak when James got up and stormed out of the room and outside. He stormed past the oak and into the forest surrounding the property.

 

“It’s not fair that I’m stuck as an Omega! If I was Alpha, I wouldn't have to worry about being unmated” he kicked a tree “I could look after my family without them being ashamed of me” he sided and looked up to one of the beehives “I’d be able to go fight for father”

James shook his head, clearing his storming anger. The sounds of the bees settling for the night a white noise in his head. That is, of course, until he heard twigs snapping rapidly. Coming in his direction. James stood up tripping back into the tree, he grasped at the bark and stumbled behind it.

 

“Come on kid, I’m not going to hurt you, why on earth would I do that?” James shook slightly and looked around the trunk of the tree to find… a lizard looking up at him. A _LIZARD_.

James walked around the tree and cocked his head, there was a lizard talking to him. Said lizard scoffed and looked haughty up at James  “Oh don’t look at me like that! So what,  I’m short so I’m not worth trembling in fear over now” the lizard was red and stood on its hind legs. It was disturbingly human-like, it even put its hand on what James thought was his hip.

“I’m sorry,” James said shaking, this was all getting weird “what-”

"I’m a dragon, _obviously_ ,” he said spreading the tiniest wings in a way what would be threatening if James was not able to step on him.  The events of the day were catching up to him, that’s what it was, he’d lost it.

This was all so ridiculous that James couldn’t really help but giggle. The ‘dragon’ looked severely offended “what? You’ve never seen a small dragon, didn’t take you as someone who judges people by their size James”

James looked back at the dragon and his laughter dried up “how is it you know my name dragon?” he asked and the little red thing scoffed again like he was surprised that James wasn’t instantly impressed with him and climbed up onto the tree.

  
“Well, of course, I know your name, I’m your little helper, Gabriel. Nice to meet you kid” he said and James frowned “Now technically, I’m meant to be looking out for Chuck when he goes to war but in the interest of looking after your little family I have a better idea, care to hear it, Jimmy?”

 

James nodded and turned to face Gabriel. His grin was slightly off-putting, like a fox asking a chicken to grab something from its mouth. “What is this idea you propose Gabriel, do you know of a way to get my father off the list?” It was the most sensible suggestion in James view, Gabriel shrugged a bit.

“In a way Jimmy my man. You see you just need another Novak Alpha to go play soldier boy, yes?” he asked and James nodded slowly. The flaw was too large there wasn’t any other Alpha Novak’s at least not in this village, he told as much to Gabriel who nodded while shaking his head muttering “technicalities”. “The plan is Jimmy, that you will go” he announced so cheerfully that James thought that the dragon was actually insane.

“What? A battle is no place for an Omega. I’ll be killed if I try” Gabriel waved his little red arms shushing at James.

“Yeah, but you're not going to join up as an Omega,” he said, his grin had reached maniacal levels and James was started to worry for his safety.

The dragon was obviously mad.

“You see, we dragons have a handy little thing that helps block out or change our scents. Because I’m such a nice guy, I’m going to help you out” With that, the small dragon clicked his fingers and James blacked out.


	3. I'm Castiel

“Rise and shine Jimmy!”

James launched himself upward as a small but powerful hand slapped him awake. He peered at the irritating small reptile standing in his lap. James groaned and fell back onto his roll-out mattress. “Come on Princess, we have a war to join!” Gabriel said crawling up to his face and prying his eyes open.

He frowned up at the grinning dragon, “Don’t call me princess.” he mumbled and sat up, Gabriel climbing up to his shoulder as to not fall.

Last night was crazy. He’d stolen his father’s conscription notice, his armour and even worse, himself. Gabriel had done something to him. He knew that much he thought as he shuffled over to the river that they camped by. As James cleaned off his face he stopped and ran his hands over his cheek.

There was hair.

He had stubble. He scrambled back to his belongings, pulling out a plain mirror. Yes, he was right. He had facial hair! His heart trembled as he looked at his reflection. There were other differences too, his face looked sharper than before. He wasn’t a hairless Omega and his face wasn’t plain and smooth.

He looked over to Gabriel, “How did you manage this?” he asked and the Dragon looked over and shrugged.

“I adjusted your hormones, your Scent is Alpha based, your Heat is going to be postponed until I fix you up. Don’t worry, you’ll be back to your usual Omega self as soon as the war is done.” the dragon said in what he assumed was meant to be reassuring. “I mean, I can’t change some things like your instincts and muscle mass but-” the rest was a drone in the background as James realised.

He was, for all intents and purposes, he was an Alpha.

 

Smiling, a bit dazed he got up and put on his father's amour, feeling guilty for running off and disrespecting his father. He turned to Gabriel as a feeling of inadequacy sunk in. How would he pull this off? He was still him, and even with the outward appearance, he was no Alpha just a confused and awkward Omega.

His armour was practical, mostly made of leather with areas secured with steel. Gabriel gave him an appraising look. “You’ll have to look out for gay Alpha’s, kiddo, they’re gonna be all over you.” James turned red. He knew of Alphas who prefered other Alphas but the idea was, forbidden. No one minded if people Mated with people who were the same sex but Mating with someone with the same secondary gender was taboo. He cut off that thought before he starting going into the other territory of the strange people.

Gabriel climbed up to his shoulder and patted his head. “Okay James you need to project Alpha, so work on your walk” James frowned but walked around until Gabriel’s tail whacked him in the side of the head,”come on Omega brain, you look like you're waiting for someone to pin you!” James snapped his teeth over at the dragon and he whistled, “that’s what I’m talking about, you're the one doing the pinning now got it?” James swallowed and squared his shouldered, walking mechanically down to the training grounds.

 

When they got down to grounds the scent of Alpha was overbearing and James stood straighter, covering his discomfort. Actually, now that he wasn’t focusing on it so much, his walk had become a bit more natural. He wasn’t posturing like Gabe wanted, but he wasn’t focused on looking graceful.

That was until he ran into a hulking man, he looked down at James and frowned, the man next to him with oldly long hair and a woman with red hair also looked at him funnily.

 _Oh god, the scent didn’t work and they’re going to attack me for being here,_ James panicked. Quickly he walked away it was fine, nothing bad would happen.Then Gabriel shouted “Say that to my face you overgrown knot-head” James froze. He looked over to Gabriel who shrugged. A hand grabbed his collar and swung him him around. The giant scary guy had him.

“What you say to me short arse?” The large man hissed and James knew he was on his own. So _naturally_ , he made things worse.

“I called you a knot-head,” he said blandly looking up at the man with disinterest “Or are you deaf as well as stupid” He was so dead, what was he doing? He should just apologise. Naomi would raise him from the dead and then lecture him before killing him.

 

That is how James Novak ended in his first fist fight with a man near twice his size. With said man having help too.  
James held his own even though his face was killing him and he had only got a few punches in. Only when the both of them landed in a pot of stew and the both of them were slightly burnt did James get pulled away.

The man holding his shirt glared down at him and James resisted the urge to bear his throat at the mere sight of him.

James stared up at him dazed. The man was beyond all belief beautiful, even staring down at him in holy anger. Which was, surprisingly, really doing something for him.

This eyes were a shade of green that James couldn’t even describe without putting it to shame. Constellations of freckles covered his face felt longing to trace them with his fingers. His lips, curved down in completely the heated glare, looked soft enough to; _crap, none of that Novak!_ But he really, really wanted to touch.

 

“General, your division doesn’t look as competent as you said,” a snide voice remarked, the _General_ and James both looked over. It was the man who had delivered the conscription information to the village. He looked at James like he forgotten who he was but subtly recognised him. “Boy, what’s your name?” he directed at James and he panicked.

 

“N-Novak, Sir,” he said trying not to shake. The man peered at him, James stared back not willing to back down.

“What happened to Charles? He should be here.”

James looked down, “Um, I’m his other son, he doesn’t talk about me much, I often get confused for my”

“Twin” Gabriel hissed in his ear and James nodded.

“Twin brother James, I’m my name is” crap he forgot to think of a name, come on “Castiel,” he said with a sigh, his grandfather’s name was Castiel so they wouldn’t have too much trouble with that.

The General and _Zachariah,_ which was apparently his name, looked at him and Zachariah asked why he hadn’t heard of him before.

James shrugged and leaned a hand onto the table, trying to look casual. “oh they don’t talk about me much” he said before the table collapsed and he fell onto the ground.

 

The General sighed and covered his face with one hand while Zachariah looked over him with distaste “I can see why. An overbearing Omega and a clumsy fool of an Alpha. I’m surprised they didn’t just disown the both of you” James glared up at him. James didn’t like the fact he had managed to insult him twice.

Zachariah turned to the General “you need to get this lot into shape quickly Winchester, there is a war coming and they must be prepared, We need soldiers, not a bunch of testosterone filled idiots and” he looked down at James who smiled sheepishly “whatever you want to call that.”

With that he turned and walked away, Winchester looked down at James with a look of pity and despair. James got up and faced the general head on. Winchester frowned looking over him “Okay Castiel, you're in but if I think your not good enough I will send you away, and your father is in, you got that?” he asked and James nodded. Okay so this guy was a dick, good looks don’t really matter if he was willing to put an old man on the front.

 

“Castiel eh,” Gabriel said musingly as the general marched off to his tent. “you know I think that suits you a lot more than Jimmy” James nodded, he felt that as well. James was Castiel now, a hapless Alpha who was feeling unfortunately drawn to the asshole, general Winchester.


	4. I won't say

Castiel slumped onto the roll-up mattress in his tent, every muscle was aching after three days of non-stop training. Winchester was a tough ass, never giving Castiel a moment of peace.

On his first day after getting into the fight with Benny, the gruff man, he had met Garth and Kevin two younger Alpha’s who Castiel had taken a liking to and had admittedly started mother henning around them. Not enough so it looked odd, but it’s not like Castiel could help it, it was unfortunately in his biology to want to look after others. It was one thing he didn’t despise about his gender.

So he made sure Garth and Kevin were properly eating and getting enough rest between the training, it wasn’t that big of a deal despite Gabriel’s objections that his ‘nesting’ could get him caught.

 

He had gotten into a fight with anyone else since Benny, and the two of them were civil with each other. Benny was a nice guy, Cas had found, he just didn’t like being insulted by invisible dragons. Who knew?

General Winchester was a force to reckon with, Castiel had decided. After distantly knowing the Alpha for three days Castiel had learned that he was tough on his soldiers but still reasonable; often giving advice to one who wasn’t picking up on how to use a spear or sword. Giving different suggestions on how to fight to an individual style.

He still didn’t like Castiel, and the feeling was mutual. He would follow orders but that was it for his respect for the man. A good leader and a good teacher he may be, but he was also a jackass. He knocked Cas down wherever he could and only looked at him with an expression of disdain and vague disappointment. Unfortunately for Winchester, the disappointment rolled off, Castiel's back like water off a duck. He’d grown up with harsher disappointment from with mother

His brother Sam, who was a Beta often went around helping as well, but he was a lot more upbeat than the young general. He was here to be a liaison between the division and the Palace. Castiel enjoyed speaking with him. Sam was kind and spoke with Castiel often, asking how he was.

 

Fighting and training without the advantage of Alpha strength put him behind. Castiel was a lot weaker than most of his Division. Winchester and most of the others picked up on that and found it amusing. Winchester pushed him harder than the others and Castiel in response often got in trouble because Gabriel thought of little shortcuts to help.

“Novak” Castiel looked over to Winchester, who was blocking the sun above him.

“Yes, sir?” Castiel asked as he finished sharpening his sword.  

The general looked down at him for a moment before gesturing over to Kevin and Garth, who were struggling to put their food together. “Can you please go help those two dimwits?”

Cas growled softly and Winchester waved his hand, “Oh don’t get started on me, they’re idiots, they might be good at fighting but the simple stuff they have no idea.”

“Most Alpha’s don’t they’re from small villages too, they don’t get taught that kind of stuff,” Castiel told him evenly but got up. “They’re good kids.”

Winchester raised an eyebrow, “kids? I’m pretty sure they’re around your age too Novak.” He said and Cas shrugged.

‘They act young, they’ve had that opportunity, and that will be taken away from them soon enough, they should enjoy what peace they can.” He’d seen his father depressed from the last war, Castiel may have been young then but he still remembered his father coming home withdrawn and haunted.

Winchester looked over at the pair who were arguing about rice. “Yeah, but they need to grow up a bit.”

Castiel shrugged.

“Yeah, but I’m content looking after them until that comes.” he nodded to the General before walking over to the pair and sorting out the food.

 

Later he was relaxing in the lake, having cleaned up. Gabriel was yammering on in the background as he floated on his back.

“Cas!’”

He looked over as Garth and Kevin hopped into the lake and Cas quickly covered himself as they swam over. He’d always been careful to go when no one else was at the lake and made sure no one knew he was going. There was a key difference between his and their bodies that were kind of obvious. When Alpha’s go through puberty and present they got...bigger, and popped what is called a knot. It's a small ring around the base of a penis that gets bigger and locks the alpha to an Omega when they have sex. Castiel, however, does not have that and is much smaller than an Alpha.

He swam backwards as the two came closer, “We wondered where you snuck off to” Kevin said and Cas smiled, “the general was looking around for you too, it wasn’t obvious but he kept walking around to where you normally hang around.”

Castiel felt his face heating up, which was stupid, he didn't’ care about Winchester looking for him, he probably wasn’t even doing that. “Kevin, you shouldn’t gossip, it's rude.” he scolded and Garth butted in.

“But he was He even complained about you always trying to get out of things” he paused, “did you have something planned with him?’ he asked and Castiel spluttered.

“I do not, why would I?”

“Because you like him” Garth offered.

Castiel froze, “pardon.”

Kevin rolled his eyes, “don’t play dumb Cas, it’s not like being attracted to other Alpha’s is so horrible anymore, the bigger cities are more accepting now. Charlie is.”

Cas shook his head, “I know but, no, I do not like Winchester. I can hardly stand him”

Both boys rolled their eyes, “Yeah sure” Garth said swimming back, “Don’t worry, when you get out of denial we won’t rub it in your face.”

“He’s lying, We will,” Garth added and got out. “I got to go to bed, see you later Cas.”

 

Once they were gone, Cas started drying off, “they’re right.” Gabe said appearing next to him. Castiel jumped at the suddenness of his reappearance. “You totally have the hots for your boss, how naughty of you Jimmy.” Castiel frowned at him.

“I would thank you not to call me that,” he growled quietly as he looked around.” and no, I have no interest in Winchester.” Castiel snapped, “so butt out.”


	5. Whiskey feelings

Castiel grunted as the wind was knocked out of him. He looked up at the General staring critically down at him, “better.” Castiel rolled his eyes, yeah, he lasted ten minutes against him before the man had slammed the butt of his sword into Cas’ chest and he had wobbled back, with Cas unsteady Winchester kicked him down. Castiel stared up at Winchester, he looked very handsome from down here- no! He did not like the Alpha! Not a bit.

Reluctantly, he took the hand that was held out to him and Winchester pulled him up. The man's hand lingered on Castiel’s arm. Cas’ gut fluttered and he pushed it down.

Damn Garth, Kevin and Gabriel for bringing that up. He hadn’t even thought about the General like that (lies) until they said so. It was sadly pathetic and Gabriel made sure he knew that.

Cas was getting better. He felt the difference. He was lasting longer against other Alphas, his muscles no longer ached when he worked out.

 

Zachariah had come back to deliver the news that they had a week before they would go into combat. Perdition had breached into the Kingdom’s land. If anyone was not up to scratch at that point (looking at Castiel) they would be cut.

Cas should feel happy about that. He could go home, back to his peace without fear of his father getting enrolled. But there was something else now, if he was sent home, he would be James again. The idea terrified him.

If He went home, he would have failed. Failed himself, Garth, Kevin and even his General, because they were all trying. Castiel had to prove he could do this.

 

Gabriel crawled up next to him and sat down “Cassie, boy you can give up at any time, with your skill I don’t even think Dean-o’s going to blame you” Cas peered at Gabriel, feeling irritated.

“What are you talking about Gabriel, I am perfectly capable, I need to do this” Gabe looked up at him with pity.

“I know you are Cassie, it’s just, you could get really hurt. If you get sent home, your parents won’t think less of you. I won’t, so what’s it matter” Castiel, shoves himself, glaring at the small dragon who just looks up at him with concern.

He wasn’t some helpless kid, he was doing well and he wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him fail.

 

“I’m going to make it, I’m not going to be sent home” Castiel hissed sitting up and pulling his jacket on, “I’m just as capable as any of these other Alpha’s.”

“Jimmy, Have you forgotten your not an Alpha,” Gabriel asked hesitantly. Castiel’s gut dropped.

“I’m not Jimmy.” He said quietly, “and Right now, I am an Alpha. I’m Castiel. I’m not having this taken away from me.”

“It’s not yours!” Gabriel snapped, “My job is to protect you even from yourself.”

“You’re meant to be helping me, not discouraging me!” Castiel spat before storming out of the tent.

The rows weren’t close enough for anyone to have heard the conversation. He would not go back to being James, never. He’d just found himself and he was happy for the first time.

Castiel walked away from his tent with a low growl. It wasn’t fair all this sexism in the kingdom just held it back. Omegas can be just as dangerous an Alpha. Even though he used to be an Omega, he was holding his own and advancing in just the short time he had. Omegas just needed to stop accepting the roles given to them by Alphas. An Omega uprising, he thought with a grim smile, now that was something to think about.

 

Castiel rubbed his arm,a light humming drew Castiel from his thoughts. He looked over at a lone figure sitting by the edge of the camp. He walked over slowly, it was Winchester sitting with slumped shoulders. The man swished amber liquid inside the bottle he held in his hands looking down at it with a dejected face.

From the short Castiel could smell the alcohol on him. He felt an instinctual pull to go over and make sure he was okay.

Which was ridiculous because Castiel didn’t care about the Alpha, he was the one who was making everyday hell for him and seemed to think it was only Castiel’s fault if he did badly.

Reluctantly, Castiel walked over to the Alpha, he sat next to the Alpha with a closed off expression. Winchester looked up at Castiel confused, his eyes slightly hazed as he frowned. Castiel wrinkled his nose slightly at Winchester’s scent, bitter and mixed with the terrible smell that accompanied intoxication.

“Shouldn't you be sleeping?” Winchester asked, looking at Cas from over his bottle. The green in his eyes was dulled. For the first time since Castiel knew him, he looked like crap.

 

Castiel looked over his General and shrugged, “I’m too sore to sleep, besides I think I could say the same about you sir” he told Winchester. The man snorted and shook his head before taking another swig of the drink.

He led out the bottle to Castiel who frowned and shook his head. “No, thank you, I don’t take well to alcohol.” He had a low tolerance for alcohol. “I believe you should go to bed, aren’t we moving out in a few days sir?” he asked calmly.

Winchester ran his hand through his hair and looked at Castiel and back at the bottle/ he frowned as the younger man slowly pulled the bottle from him.

Castiel placed it next to him, ignoring the tingling that travelled up his arm from touching the Alpha.

Winchester stared at Castiel for a few seconds, then, to Castiel’s shock. He leaned into Castiel’s neck and he stiffened. He looked at Winchester with a fearfully expression, he was Scenting him. Of course, he wouldn’t find the scent of an Omega. Having him this close made him thankful that Gabriel had taken the liberty to repress his slick because a lot of Cas that didn’t involve his actual thinking wanted to bare his neck for Winchester and present. He didn’t of course, because he was an Alpha.

 

Castiel growled lowly glaring darkly at the other man until Winchester backed off and looked back at him. The man had a strange look on his face that Castiel was not able to decipher. “You can call me Dean, I hate being called Sir” he grumbled looking up at Castiel.

Cas stared back and slowly nodded his throat feeling tight. “Can I call you Cas, I’ve been calling you that in my head but I thought you might find it rude, you know being from one of those old villages. All traditional and shit.”

Castiel nodded, surprised by not only Dean calling him by his first name but a nickname too. It was a lot more, intimate than their actual relationship. “Yes, I am... Dean.” he looked down feeling awkward.

“You have an Omega brother don’t you?” Dean asked and Castiel looked up, surprised at Dean being closer than before.

Castiel nodded slowly and Dean smiled slightly “I have one too, he’s only my half brother but he’s still my brother. My dad treats him the best because he wants him to be all proper so he can marry him off to some bigshot with more money than sense”

Castiel nodded and looked up wistfully “I understand that both James and I are considered to be broken in some way,” he said. “Mother has been trying to marry him off for years but no-one wants an Omega who thinks or does work,” Castiel told Dean mournfully, feeling some kind of a relief to be able to talk about it. “Eventually she sent him to the matchmaker to find an arranged Mate, hoping there would be someone desperate enough, managed to screw that up too. Completely” Dean frowned

“Do you think it was his fault?” he asked and Cas shrugged.

“No there was Ink, tea and a cricket. He looked up from his lashes to Dean who was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

 

“I don’t want a Mate,” Dean told Cas “otherwise I would be too focused on them and if they’re okay rather than my duties, I don’t have that luxury,” he said quietly and Castiel nodded. “My father just expects me to be a good soldier, although after Sam’s Mating I think he expects more from me, Sammy Mated to a Beta it’s not common so Dad didn’t like it.”

Castiel nodded, it was not a common thing at all, mating inside your gender. With Beta, it was kind of okay because they could still bear children but others like Alphas and Omegas being together wouldn't produce kids.

He got caught in his thoughts, swirling around images of being able to be with anyone. That would never happen as Abaddon said, he was defective.

As an Omega and Alpha.

 

Dean grabbed his hand and the tingles travelled back up his arm. Castiel looked over to Dean and tilted his head. Dean looked down his jaw clenched before looking up “Cas, I’m sorry for being a dick. It’s just hard, I gotta make sure everyone is ready, these guys we're facing. Never seen anything like them.” Dean let go of his hand again, looking at Castiel waiting for a response.

Castiel sighed and stood up. “It’s fine Dean you’re doing your job, this won’t be easy on you, knowing a lot of us aren’t going to make it back,” Castiel said and Dean stood up staring Cas down, shaking his head.

“You’ll make it back Cas, I’ll make sure of it” He promised and Castiel’s eyes widened slightly. How had Dean gone from kicking his ass at training, barely giving him praise or any conversation to this? Voices of Kevin and Garth mentioning Dean looking around for him came up in his mind and he pushed it away. Dean barley like him in a friendly way.

“You work hard and when you aren’t trying too hard to act like the rest of them” he nodded toward the rows of tents “you’re good at fighting”.

With that, and a nod at Castiel, the General turned and walked away. Leaving Castiel with his thoughts and a bottle of liquor.


	6. Head out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter- busy with Gishwes

It was a week from the night that Castiel had spoken privately to Dean. It still felt weird calling him Dean, but in some way, it was also right. Castiel felt himself coming around to being friends with the man, even if it was a distant feeling friendship, guarded by professionalism. Castiel had become skilled in fighting and swiftly took down his opponents in the Garrison, of course not to the level that Benny or some of the larger Alphas.

However, Dean would constantly be there when he was successful or got knocked on his ass, giving praise for his improvement and persistence. Castiel did _not peen_ every time Dean held his arm and complimented him for his attack or a block. That was filthy slander no matter how many times Gabriel whispered jokes about it in his ear, or Garth and Kevin 'reenacted' Dean and his interactions as though it was a romantic play.

Their camp was getting packed, it was time to march out to where Perdition was spotted last. Castiel had gotten all his things ready to go quickly. He spent the rest of his time helping Kevin and Garth getting their shit together.

“Cas, come on, we don't _need_ to learn this,” Kevin whined pushing his sleeping bag into the bag that held it and Cas took it out. He rolled it out, “you'll just do it for us, and then later I'll get Mated and not have to think about it.”

Cas looked over and growled lowly at him, “I'm not going to always be there to look after you, and don't say things like that, It's completely sexist, do you talk about your father like that?” he asked and Kevin looked down.

“No, and mum would kick my ass if I did.” He said and Castiel nodded primly, “I'm sorry.”

Castiel smiled over at him, “it's fine, now go help, Garth.” Castiel nodded over to where Garth was tangled into his tent as he tried to pack it up. Kevin shared a look with Cas before getting up to go untie Garth from the canvas.

Castiel was worried about them. They may be doing well in practice and act carefree, but Castiel could see their nerves. He could basically feel the terror coming off them that Castiel was worried they may have a heart attack before they even see the battlefield.

They were here to debrief the Garrison on their mission. The Garrison was small, only sixty with units of ten. In his unit was Benny, Charlie, Garth, Kevin, Joanna Beth or 'Jo', Uriel, Victor Tessa and another Girl Tracy. It was a evened out Unit with only Castiel, Kevin and Garth as the weak links, however, Castiel was determined to make sure this would not hold them all back.

Zachariah led his horse up and down the front line, scrutinizing everyone as much as he could. “There has been an attack in Oasis, a large town near the borders,” Zachariah called, his voice carrying across the garrison. “It is believed that Perdition's Savages have taken hostages. I warn, our citizens are not to be harmed; but the enemy is cunning and hold no morals, so they will use every advantage they can get.”

“They attack with wildness and none of the finesse that you have been trained with, statically and skillfully, most of you.” his eyes somehow found Castiel and narrowed critically “are superior to their intelligence and skill, so there should be no worry. However you must never underestimate your opponent, but overestimating them can be worse to your mental preparedness.” He nodded as though he was the wisest man to live and had imparted them with the wisdom of the universe. “Winchester, your orders.” he turned his horse to the side and Dean stepped forward.

Dean did not sit on a horse, he didn't need the height to impose over his soldiers. He was respected and numbers of these Alpha's would put themselves on the line for him because he would be there with them. Castiel watched the man with admiration, feeling guilty for his intent dislike of him only a week ago.

“You've all worked hard” Dean began, “you have improved beyond exceptions. I have faith in you all, that you will make it home to your families.” he caught Castiel's eyes briefly and beautifies flew in his gut. Not the time. “there will be a unit in every direction of the town. We will sweep in the designated perimeters. Any Alpha who attacks will be eliminated, subdue Beta's if possible. Once the town is clear, we wait for further orders. Are we clear?”

“Yes, Sir.” The Garrison responded in unison and Castiel could see the sadness in Dean's eyes.

“Good. We leave within the hour. Everyone stick to your unit.”

 


	7. ambushed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many apologies, one for the lateness of the chapter, I had a lot on my plate and then I was just blocked.  
> also... sorry for the chapter

The ash was laid out for miles before the reached the town. Once a lively town, it was burnt to a crisp. The units were split up and were prepared to move throughout the rubble looking for any sign of survivors. The came across nothing but bodies some burnt some looking like wild animals tore them apart. Castiel paused when a sweet floral Scent filled him. He tapped Uriel the man turning his head to look at Castiel who signalled for them all to stop. Something didn't feel right.

Uriel rolled his eyes not passing on the message and pushed ahead. They came up to a four-way split in the buildings and Castiel looked around. The amount of silence felt wrong, Perdition should not have been able to leave that quick. He turned to Kevin when a large Alpha swooped, taking Kevin by surprise. He lifted his sword to retaliate but he was too late.

Two daggers stabbed into you young Alpha's eye and though to his head.

Castiel felt like time had slowed down, the seconds ticking as Kevin fell, lifeless to the ground.

The world woke up just as a fire lit in Castiel. Not bothering for weapons he sprung forward at the Alpha. Either he didn't move fast enough or he never saw Cas coming but he looked shocked enough before Castiel clawed at his face, blood spilling from the large gashes opening in his skin. Castiel kept going fueled by grief and rage, the Alpha had killed Kevin and he would suffer for it.

He bit down into the man's throat savouring in his garbled screams. He pulled his head back skin and blood hanging from his extended canines.

Hands wrapped around his arms and he snarled wildly, lashing out but was, unfortunately, was pulled away from the now deformed body. He looked over at Kevin and ripped himself away to go over to the young Alpha's body. His bloodied hands pulled him into his lap.

The adrenaline ran out and Cas was left shaking as sobs wracked through him. He whined softly looking down at the bloody eye sockets of his pup. Fighting was going on around him and he pulled the body away huddling close to the wall.

It felt like an eternity of growling people away from them until a hand touched his arm gently. He growled again in warning but the hand did not remove itself. He snarled, wanting them to get away from him and Kevin. He needed to look after Kevin's body since he had failed at looking after him so he would not let anyone harm him again.

“Oi,” a loud feminine voice shouted and Castiel snapped his eyes up to meet those of a dark-haired woman, struggling in Uriel's grasp. “He's dead, let them move the body. You're not going to bring him back like that.” She snapped at him and he looked over at her affronted, shock snapping him out of his daze. “Good job Clarence.” she grinned.

“Get the Omega to the others in the cells, I'll look after Novak.” Castiel looked over to find He sitting neck to him, hand on his arm. He moved his hand toward Kevin and growls ripped from Castiel's throat again, he cut himself off, “sorry.” He said hastily

Dean shook his head and took Kevin from him, “I should have looked after him, I should have stopped it, I wasn't fast enough.” Castiel stammered out.

“Kevin was young, but he knew what he was getting into.”

“He didn't. He's a kid, he could barely look after himself.” Cas choked out

“I'm sorry, let me carry him Cas, I'll look after him.” He said quietly, reluctantly, Castiel let him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's short and mean, sorry all


	8. sorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for my absence, i was in a really shit place for a long time but I'm back  
> I did some editing on past chapters too.

Castiel didn’t move. He couldn’t make himself move. According to Dean they had cleared the town out and set up camp but, fuck did it even matter? He had failed to protect Kevin. They had already sent his body home. Castiel felt empathy for his mother, It was a hard sight to see. The boy was mangled.

The door to the room he was in opened and He looked up and saw Dean, looking apologetic and concerned. He walked over kneeling in front of Castiel, his hand on his shoulder. “Castiel, I’m so sorry, I know it’s a lot right now but you have to get up,” He said and shook his head. “we are at war Cas, people die and I know that you were close but Kevin wouldn’t want you sitting around like this.”

No, he was right. He had to fix this. Had to make them pay for taking the boy too soon “that woman, where is she?” he asked and got up.

“In the other building, honestly we don’t know what to do with her. We can’t kill her but she’s obviously a danger.”  
“let me talk to her.” Castiel’s voice was hard as he stepped around Dean. There was something about her. He needed to talk to her alone.

 

The Cell was small and the Omega sat happily laying back in her chair when Castiel and Dean walked in. There was a moment then a wicked smile crossed her face. “You pretty boy, you can go, I wanna talk to him.” He said and Dean looked conflicted then turned to Castiel.   
“don’t open the cell and don't touch her or it’ll be on all our head’s he warned before he left the room.

Castiel waited a moment before he spoke. “who are you?” He asked stepping closer o the bars.

She smiled and stood up coming closer herself, “I’m Meg, I’m a general with perdition.” She smirked as though reading Castiel’s thought’s “Yeah babe, I’m an omega, just cause your kingdom is some old-fashioned losers doesn’t mean we are, the boss knows that we’re probably one of the better fighters here. I mean, look at you, you tore Gadreel apart” She purred ad Castiel took a step back

“how?”

“Oh honey it’s that that hard, just cause you to smell like an alpha doesn't mean all of us are blind, you went into a rage honey, something that most of us learn how to do pretty easy but, I guess you guys aren’t really taught how to handle yourselves”

She smiled again, this time a bit softer, “don’t get too attached to them, they aren’t yours to protect. Anyway, what’s a guy like you doing hiding in the army?”

They talked for a while until Dean came in telling Cas that he had to go and eat. Gabriel also convinced him to go to sleep. He wanted to talk to Meg again but when he woke up there was a note on his saddle.

 

_Sorry for bailing so quick but I have work to do, country to take over and all that, next time I see you I won't go easy on you though._

_Meg._

He screwed up the note, throwing it away and when he was asked, he knew nothing. The woman knew his secret, it might be better than she is gone.

 

They were too late to save most of the village, So Dean ordered them ahead. Another day of walking brought them to a battleground, the ground covered in bodies and blood.

Castiel got off his horse just as Dean did, the man seeming in a trance as he followed his feet to a body. The Alpha fell to his knees and the air around him turned sour. Castiel didn’t recognize the man but he was smart enough to put two and two together. “Dean, I’m so sorry,” he said softly as he touched the man's shoulder.

Dean didn’t respond and Castiel felt horrible for the man. He took a few more moments before he rose, his eyes red.

“Dean,” He said softly before he stepped forward and then fell into Castiel’s arms, he was heavy but Castiel had gotten stronger. The rest seemed to respect the need for privacy and went about trying to find the bodies of their men.

“He’s gone,” Dean said, softy before he pulled away.

“I know Dean, I’m sorry, I know, I would do anything to protect my own father,” He told him, “but we’ll find them. I promise” His own voice was firm as he looked into Dean’s eyes, “they won’t win.”

 

 

That night was a sombre occasion, Everyone taking the night to mourn everyone they had lost. Castiel had found himself With Dean again, seeming to be constantly drawn to the man’s side.

“I resented him, for so long, I loved him, but there was so much pressure,” Dean mumbled taking a break from drinking to lean against Castiel’s should as they sat side by side again. “I tried so hard to be better than he expected and now he’s just gone. What do I do?”  
Castiel looked down at Dean, trying to pay attention but, holy cow, he was so close. His face was warm as he looked down at the man. “I don’t know Dean, you just have to keep going, be better.”

Dean looked up at Castiel eyes sad and hazed with the alcohol. Castiel swallowed, unable to think with him so close. Dean gave him a small smile before he leaned forward.

Dean’s lips on his were like an explosion of light and colour. He could barely breathe as Dean turned climbing up in into Castiel’s lap, their head tilting so they fit together. Castiel’s fingers tangled into Dean’s hair before he finally pulled back, Dean smiled down at him and for a moment it was okay.


End file.
